In her youth, by her father’s side,

with bold fearlessness

she rode every roller coaster ride.

She explored the wilderness,

climbed up knolls and hills,

splashed over rapids,

crashed bumper car thrills.

She jet-skied once,

swam in swift rivers & eerie lakes,

threw herself into crashing waves

with fewly took breaks.

She galloped windy horsetrails,

slid down curving water slides,

rode on antique train rails,

sat backwards in classic car rides.

Curious charisma with hawk-eye vision,

she tried anything once,

always on her own decision.

Her father encouraged and nurtured her smile,

yet her mother stagnated her identity, all the while.

Shy from fear to express,

her discouraged creativity

developed into a mess.

Her curiosity grew odd, too weird, too strange

for her mother to accept her wide interest range.

Resentment, jealosy, spitefulness, pride

stifled a child who was learning to stride.

Now she is me: A grown woman in heart–

struggling, aching, trying to make

something of this life I did not want to take.


The End is the Beginning

I have not the strength to carry the world upon my shoulders, but only the strength to tend to each day’s affairs as they come.

I have not the knowledge to solve all of my problems, but only the knowledge to know this.

I have not the identity to be anyone but my self, even as much as I still do not know her.

I have not the drive to move mountains, but the drive to walk plateaus alone.

I have not the love to change the world, but the love to change my self.

I have not the wisdom to understand the future, but the hindsight to clarify the past.

I have not the means to reach anyone’s heart, but the flexibility to harness my own.

I have not the breath to persuade anyone, but the breath to capture my own faith.

I have not the sight to see why I suffer, but the sight to see suffering is part of everything.


Aging is maturing beyond everything that once mattered in youth and not being afraid to let it go.

Aging is growing out of old problems while simultaneously acclimating with new problems.

Aging is not viewing problems as problems, but as tests of your true inner nature.

Aging is accepting what you cannot control while stopping trying to control it.

Aging is gaining wisdom, insight, clarity, understanding, virtue, character, and actualizing your individual essence of life.

Aging is not looking at yourself or others as a quantifiable number of years, but as intrinsic beings of qualitative depth.

Aging is part of dying a little more every day and embracing every breath closer to death.