4 a.m. panic seizures attack

emotional hypnopompia.

Convulsions of bodily-contorted pain,

ever clenching these feet, hands,

into astrological bedsheets

of nameless anguish.

Ever-expanding cries to God

silently weep through

heartfelt affectionate disorder.

Can only smile, laugh, uplift

when love is genuineness amplified

— between souls.

4:11 a.m. ramblings, psychobabblings

of unspeakable malaise…

4:24 a.m. revised letter-punching the fuck out of childhood’s alphabet on monolith 88.

Can’t scream loud enough, so I remain silent,

grasping at faces I can never hold,

but in my heart…

The suicide of ever wanting love in the first place…

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Saturnine Seizures

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