4 a.m. panic seizures attack
Convulsions of bodily-contorted pain,
ever clenching these feet, hands,
into astrological bedsheets
of nameless anguish.
Ever-expanding cries to God
silently weep through
heartfelt affectionate disorder.
Can only smile, laugh, uplift
when love is genuineness amplified
— between souls.
4:11 a.m. ramblings, psychobabblings
of unspeakable malaise…
4:24 a.m. revised letter-punching the fuck out of childhood’s alphabet on monolith 88.
Can’t scream loud enough, so I remain silent,
grasping at faces I can never hold,
but in my heart…
The suicide of ever wanting love in the first place…