Musings of Intimacy & Sexuality: an Existential Essay
by M. Haas
What is intimacy and sexuality for an existentialist?
For a few years now, I have been affiliating with existentialism. The primary attitude of the existentialist encompasses the view that each person is his or her own subjective hermeneutic human consciousness. One is always one’s own thinking, acting, feeling, living individual self. While I am one who tends to not feel ‘existentially’ free, I always seek to be honest & authentic, especially of sadness, confusion, and worry in terms of my human experiences with the correspondences of inner and outter absurdities of self and the world.
To me, intimacy and sexuality are supposed to be an essential human accent of meaningful subjective existence that is raw, pure, deep, romantic, sensual, sweet bliss —
an endearing, innocent, vulnerable, virtuous, devotional, sincere, supportive, encouraging, gentle, caressing, healthy experience —
an understanding, accepting, patient, wise, honest, respectful, loyal, lucid, responsible, honorable, creative, authentic, uplifting, invigorating & empowering, warm & compassionate, bold, courageous act of love out of and for wellbeing & integrity of self and mate.
This is insight into what I think intimacy and sexuality genuinely are; this could also be idealism, which is to say most people do not and cannot experience this in intimacy or sex due from the compromising effects of culture upon individuals developing sexual identity and morals.
What is intimacy and sexuality for mainstream American culture?
There are certain ideas, stigmas, and examples that are emulated, advertised, and condoned about intimacy and sexuality in America.
American culture exhibits a profound sexual fixation & obsession encompassing patriarchal and misogynistic views that women are supposed to “fit a mold,” porn is fulfilling, and extortion of women’s bodies is acceptable.
Culture supports degradation and humiliation of the female form, alongside a self-esteem deflating construct of a biased, rejecting nature toward disempowering women who don’t fit the mold. Typical beauty in America is a tan busty long-haired blonde with proportionate hips and waistline, toned skin, no stretch marks, and accenting makeup.
Celebrities, magazines, corporate advertising, and the porn industry distract young girls and women of their own authentic natures and individualities. Culture preys on the naive & innocent, unconsciously– subliminally– manipulating identity & corrupting virtue & wellbeing in both men and women.
I feel like androgyny has to be more of a coping mechanism for most Americans than it is actually their authentic nature.
There is so much sexual confusion and immorality in America –from sexual discrimination to rape, abuse, extortion, to simply overlooking chivalry. Foundational values seem nonexistent because mainstream culture is horrendously partial to what is deemed beautiful and sexy in the first place, and that only the beautiful and sexy are worthy of sex and intimacy. Even then, sex and intimacy are dominantly expressed as nothing more than lustful pleasure, orgasm, and release of sexual fluids… (fucking)… not a deep, romantic, sincere, loyal act out of and for wellbeing and integrity… (loving).